It's The End!
Friday, June 5, 2009 5:18 PM
I will try not to be affected by what people say from now on! But this blog is no longer available. Just let it rot here :D
My new blog? Ask me personally! Or be smart enough to find it out yourself.
Bye Bye!
3rd June 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009 10:34 PM
If blogging could gain me publicity and make me feel bad about myself. I would rather not open and let everybody know anything about my life. I've gone through a lot. The reason why I went back to blogging, with the URL [http://sohwynn.blogspot.com] was because I did not want people to remove my link and that people kept asking me back. Having more than 50 links from various bloggers. I feel happy and also sad about it because people know Soh Wynn exists. I know it's rather contradicting but I do not know how to explain myself to make others comprehend. I do not know how to express my feelings well, or maybe I am just too embarrassed to say it out. But i'm really grateful that Wei Zheng and Alson are here for me. Trust me, without them, I would fall apart.
I know describing myself as vulnerable is rather "girlish" but so long you understand me, that's all I ever wanted. Why nobody understands me well? I'm not sissy neither am I a gay. I'm just a gentle boy who doesn't resort anything into violence. All that I ever wanted was people understand me and stop name-calling me as this and that. When the tagger who tagged me earlier on, "Hi Fking Chao Ah Gua." Do you know how hurtful and painful I feel? I was sad and upset with myself. Why did I act like that? On the contrary, I think I did the right thing. I'm happy because I'm being myself. I never failed to be myself and if I were to act, it would all be an impression for others. Leaving one's impression to others is really important. I'm genuine; am neither a phony nor bogus. Maybe Wei Zheng is right, nobody understands me well. The person who understood me well, had left. I left him to be rigid.
I hope everything could change for the better.
For that, I'm going to shower now. Bye, dear diary <3
I know describing myself as vulnerable is rather "girlish" but so long you understand me, that's all I ever wanted. Why nobody understands me well? I'm not sissy neither am I a gay. I'm just a gentle boy who doesn't resort anything into violence. All that I ever wanted was people understand me and stop name-calling me as this and that. When the tagger who tagged me earlier on, "Hi Fking Chao Ah Gua." Do you know how hurtful and painful I feel? I was sad and upset with myself. Why did I act like that? On the contrary, I think I did the right thing. I'm happy because I'm being myself. I never failed to be myself and if I were to act, it would all be an impression for others. Leaving one's impression to others is really important. I'm genuine; am neither a phony nor bogus. Maybe Wei Zheng is right, nobody understands me well. The person who understood me well, had left. I left him to be rigid.
I hope everything could change for the better.
For that, I'm going to shower now. Bye, dear diary <3
2nd June 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009 8:02 AM
Had loads of fun yesterday in Cineleisure KBox with 罗老师, 林老师 (teachers of 5N2 and 5N1 respectively). Students who went:
Yesterday was a "so-called" celebration as we all had finished our O-level Chinese paper. Our bonds with the teachers have grown in this short period of time. In that week, we slogged, we mugged, we overcame, we did whatever that we could. Even those who hated Chinese to the max came for the revision programme. Teachers are definitely grateful la.
This was what 罗老师 sent us.
Read it ONLY if you want.
After reading it, according to what Didi said, she cried. It was all worth it!
Look at what the students wrote in MSN. I've gathered every one of them together.
罗老师 is a gem! We're lucky to have her as a teacher.
As she promised, she would treat us Pizza. She did!
That was the second time teacher had treated us Pizza. First was Mrs Chin followed by 罗老师. I'm feeling on top of the world now. No one knows how grateful and fascinated I am now. I'm just so happy. Even if I tear up now, it would be tears of joy.
These pictures show everything. Our happiness, laughter and joy.
罗老师: 对不起。折磨了你们一个星期，谢谢。你们没有放弃。亲爱的5N2，请记得带词典，明天全力以赴，不要太紧张，你们行的! 加油! (written on 31st May 2009)
I just wanna say, everything that she had done was definitely worth-while. We don't mind getting tortured again :D!
罗老师 should be on plane now? Bon Voyage! Have fun in Taiwan, we are waiting for you to come back. Best of luck and take care, 罗老师.
- Didi Ng
- Cheng Hui
- Boonpin
- Choon Kiat
- Yi Feng
- Zhi Wei
- Pee Hian
- Andrew
- Cai Lin
- Pei Ru
- Jing Ho
- Randy
Yesterday was a "so-called" celebration as we all had finished our O-level Chinese paper. Our bonds with the teachers have grown in this short period of time. In that week, we slogged, we mugged, we overcame, we did whatever that we could. Even those who hated Chinese to the max came for the revision programme. Teachers are definitely grateful la.
This was what 罗老师 sent us.
Read it ONLY if you want.
亲爱的5N2，
谢谢你们让我在踏入明智中学两年来, 重新爱上教学...
谢谢你们让我找到了前所未有的工作推动力，即使必须讲课10小时，我也甘之如饴....
谢谢你们愿意放弃了下课后回家看《意难忘》、到篮球场打球的时间，与老师一起留在学校奋斗...
谢 谢你们不经意，却如此真诚地说了：“老师，我第一次发现原来华文考试也有东西准备”、“老师，你昨晚几点睡？不要改我们的作文改到太晚”、"老师，你要喝 咖啡吗？我去买。你要吃豆花啊？我去买..." 、“老师，你可以印多点练习给我们做吗？” “老师不够睡，脾气自然不好，我们给她面子，不要吵了。” 、“老师，我星期一的华文要考A1”、
谢谢你们在不是我的生日的一天，在食堂莫名其妙齐声唱起了生日歌给我听... ( 或许，我真的因此重生了）
谢谢你们在我改卷改到发呆时，播了梁静茹/陈绮贞的歌曲给我听...
谢谢你们这几天提笔完成了我为你们设置的魔鬼写作训练...
谢谢那几位痛恨华文的你们，给足面子，尝试听课，完成作业...
虽然教你们这班，对我而言，曾经是件“痛苦“的事，因为你们上课时总是满口污言秽语，口不遮拦，很多时候甚至漠视在前面努力讲课，企图引起你们的学习兴趣的我的存在，更多时候，只以散漫的学习态度看待华文，总对我的苦心规劝无动于衷...
但是，这一个星期的最后冲刺，每日的朝夕相处，我看到了你们的改变...
或许你们不是为我而做出改变，但却深深触动了我这颗沉睡的心，重新燃起了我那几乎奄奄一息，不复存在的教学热忱...
临时抱佛脚，或许不会见效...
在短短几天内，要为你们扭转劣势，几乎是不可能的任务，我也没信心能办到...
但是老师仍感到欣慰，至少你们愿意试一试，没有放弃华文...
即使年中考在八月成绩放榜后，大家会有失望泪水，但是我会陪你们走到最后，年底再次迎战...
希望你们不要放弃...
After reading it, according to what Didi said, she cried. It was all worth it!
Look at what the students wrote in MSN. I've gathered every one of them together.
罗老师 is a gem! We're lucky to have her as a teacher.
As she promised, she would treat us Pizza. She did!
That was the second time teacher had treated us Pizza. First was Mrs Chin followed by 罗老师. I'm feeling on top of the world now. No one knows how grateful and fascinated I am now. I'm just so happy. Even if I tear up now, it would be tears of joy.
These pictures show everything. Our happiness, laughter and joy.
罗老师: 对不起。折磨了你们一个星期，谢谢。你们没有放弃。亲爱的5N2，请记得带词典，明天全力以赴，不要太紧张，你们行的! 加油! (written on 31st May 2009)
I just wanna say, everything that she had done was definitely worth-while. We don't mind getting tortured again :D!
罗老师 should be on plane now? Bon Voyage! Have fun in Taiwan, we are waiting for you to come back. Best of luck and take care, 罗老师.
26th May 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 6:38 PM
Read it day by day until 1st June 2009.
I hope whatever that I'm penning down now, can last for a week. It is because my Chinese O-level examination is next week on 1st June 2009 which is Monday. I do not want to make the same mistake again like I did when I slacked and fooled around during Mid-Year examinations. Not giving in my fullest in any thing I do. I felt guilty and unfilial towards my parents. I do not want them to feel I'm useless and good-for-nothing. And whenever my Brother scolded me, I realised he had my interests at heart. The problem lies in me and not him. I love to push blames to others when I knew I was wrong. This could be my demerit. Kindness is a virtue. Sparing a thought for others... is also a virtue. I apologize for hurting people and whatever that I've done, sincerely. No harm intended. Purely was all for fun. It's time to be serious, Soh Wynn.
Something bound to happen if I still act the way I am now. Hopefully things change for the better. I will only come back after I have finished my Chinese O-level examination. All the best to me. I also wish you guys have your holidays and spend it wisely. Don't follow my foot-step, for a person like me will never be successful. I'm not trying to gain sympathy, and I never wanted to. Just that I know myself better than anyone else does. I'm a person who is happy as long as I pass for any of my subjects. I never aimmed higher, neither did I want it.
However, things have changed. I'm aimming for an A1 for my Chinese. I'm putting in so much effort, I don't want everything to be done in vain. Hardwork pays off. On the contrary, if I really fail my Chinese. I do not know what will I do. A Chinese fails his Chinese is really embarrassing. Especially when your results are put in the foyer in August, when everybody would take a look at it. I want people to be envious of me and not vice versa. Who doesn't want to be successful? Hopefully when I see my result in August, it would be a satisfaction. Like, at the very least, a B3? I want an A1, but teachers said it was hard. N-level is a piece of cake, like a speck of dust, you flick it. If I manage to get an A1, it would be surreal. Miracles do happen, don't they? An ordeal to overcome. And I'm trying to.
I had 9 hours of Chinese today. I'm tired! I'm exhausted! I couldn't catch my breath. I need to let off steam. My class was the last to end our lessons. We started at 8pm and ended at 5pm. Humans concentrating span can never be pro-longed. Hence, everybody complained and made a big fuss over it. It's just the first day and we are already raising our white flag. Get over and done with! Everything will end soon. Just bear with it.
I wish Didi Ng gets well soon. Hope she doesn't get swine flu. I hope Cheng Hui could get an A1 for his Chinese. I hope Randy Tan, at the very least, could get a B3. He has been working really hard, even harder than me when my Chinese was actually at the top of the pack. Now, I'm dropping so fast that I can't stop myself. You can never halt yourself when you're in the midst of committing suicide, like jumping off the building. When you want to stop, it is already too late. You're dead!
Not forgetting these people...
1) Yi Feng
2) Yiu Siung (I did not forget about you)
3) Verroanica
4) Choon Kiat
5) Cai Lin
6) Zhi Wei
7) Kwan Foo
...and basically everybody in my class la. But these names are specially mentioned. I hope I could spur them on. Victor the battle. We all will pass and strive! This is my last year in Bendemeer. Though I hate it a lot, but after all it's still my school that I'm currently studying in.
My Mother made the wrong choice for choosing Bendemeer Secondary School. I wanted Anderson Sec and Mayflower Sec. But my Mother pushed me to my father, where I am staying now. To be convenient when I go school. I do not hate my Mother, but it's a choice made wrongly. If I hadn't come to Bendemeer Secondary School, I would be much hardworking under my Mother's supervision. I passed my PSLE because of her. Had she not caned and beaten me when I was in Primary 6, when I had so many rotan marks on my legs and arms, I wouldn't have come to my senses. So, thanks a lot Mother! You've done a good job in caning me. Making me, dislike myself a lot. Not degrading myself but I do feel this way. I thought back and knew my life could be better. My life now is nothing. Living is worthless. This is not the way I should be. Whatever the case is, this is my current state. Stupid and immature.
What I hope now is... my class could be quiet and conducive. Students pay their fullest attention to the teacher. As long as my class can be quiet, I believe everything will go smoothly. Especially Andrew, I hope he could stop picking on anyone who he dislikes. He never spares a thought for others, he never thinks whether he should say or not. Whatever he thinks, he would say, without even considering about people's feelings. I hope he could change. The class is so much quieter without him, everybody can vouch that.
However, I do miss the time when the Indians and Malays were in class. Now we are all separated, I wish them well. Hopefully, we can either go J.C or Poly together. Not leaving anybody behind, let's soar for greater heights, 5N2! We all can do it.
Last but not least, Gwenda and I agreed that couples shouldn't stick to each other. To see my girlfriend everyday, would be annoying. It irks me when couples stick to each other like glue. So, I suggest buy a glue remover and give each other some freedom. Even friendship, you can never stick to your friends 24/7. The other party would feel uneasy and awkward la. We need time to miss people. Only when you miss the person, the more you will love the person. I never treasured, never cherished. Putting myself in first priority is definitely made correctly. Even if I say I would die for you, to make you feel good. In fact, I never want to die for any one but for myself. If my lover drops into the river with my Mother, I would save my Mother because she is the one who gave me a life to live. That is why, I never put words into actions. I will never die for anything unless Grim Reaper says time's up. Then I will follow it to hell and suffer. But I never believed in reincarnation, so what I believe is... when a person is gone (die), he/she will be gone forever. Of course I would like to experience a second life, a much better and luxurious one.
I hope I will be back when you guys have read until here.
Once and for all.
Bye! :)
25th May 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009 11:56 AM
Re-updated!
I just had a cold shower. I'm feeling on top of the world now and I am going to make myself feel better by staying in my brother's room for the rest of the day and revise for my Chinese as I am about to have my Chinese O-level real soon.
I can't stand the heat. It's killing me. The weather today is "awesome"! I'm enjoying my sauna now despite hating it to the core. So ironic! =.=
Was at Street Soccer court with Gwenda just now and when I bade farewell to everybody. Gwenda wanted to go home as well so I sent her home. When I was walking back, I SAW PEOPLE JOGGING AND EXERCISING. I worship them! The weather is so fantastic, indeed!
Before I perspire again, I'd better get back to my brother's house. No computer, No Audition, No Restaurant City for me today.
Ciao!
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I have always loved Kay Kay. From the start when I knew she was competing for a FHM cover and $10,000 in a show called S Factor on channel 5. I stayed tune and watched every single episode, every Sunday.
Yesterday she was announced the winner of S Factor. Congratulations to her. Thankfully, she wasn't the runner-up or I will die for her. By the way, the second picture, she is standing on the extreme left. The most pretty one.
For more information on S Factor. I have actually found it in YouTube. I will just upload the last episode, which is 8 here.
A brief introduction of the three videos.
The first part of the video is the introduction of all girls who were eliminated. Ya.
To know more about it, watch the videos yourself. It's really interesting! Especially Kay Kay. Look at what she did in part 2.
Basically, part 3 is the result which Kay Kay was announced, the winner of S Factor.
To watch all episodes, go to http://www.youtube.com. In the type-in box given to you, type in S Factor and look for this person, asymmetrichwz. Click and you will see all the videos. The rest of the steps, figure it out yourself. It's as simple as ABC.
24th May 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009 7:14 PM
If whatever that I've done is not enough.
If nothing satisfies you.
If I am a fucker.
If I am ignorant.
If nothing satisfies you.
If I am a fucker.
If I am ignorant.
If I do not care.
MAKE SURE YOU DON'T REGRET! Trust me, you are going to regret _l_
Trust me, I've done enough.
Trust me I'm doing whatever that I could.
Trust me, I'm faithful.
Trust me, I'm always caring.
Trust me that you will regret.
Trust me I'm doing whatever that I could.
Trust me, I'm faithful.
Trust me, I'm always caring.
Trust me that you will regret.
you will!
You Will!!
YOu WIll!!!
YOU WILl!!!!
YOU WILL!!!!!
=D
You Will!!
YOu WIll!!!
YOU WILl!!!!
YOU WILL!!!!!
=D
23rd May 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009 11:24 AM
I've finally understood. Yes! I do.
Had I not put in any effort, I wouldn't have cried. In other words, I gave in my all, I tried. However, it did not turn out the way I expected. After I had the Chinese mocked paper, I told the teacher that it was an easy paper. If I fail, I can forget about taking my Chinese O. So, when yesterday I got back my paper. I failed. I was actually very calm until teacher said "Soh Wynn, your mark is... 3... (was hoping for a 5 but) 2. The paper was upon 70. My mind went blank. I asked myself "What have I done wrong? Didn't I try? Haven't I put in enough effort? Or am I another stupid boy-next-door?" I couldn't take it yesterday so I cried naturally when I told myself not to. I thought back. I've tried. Shouldn't I be happy about it? At least... at least I've given in my all. Unlike my mid-year examination, when I did not even bother to go school and take my exams. Hence, I knew I was wrong. And I did not care. You guys get my point, don't you? It's ok if you do not.
I dreamt of myself getting top for Chinese. Can understand how I am feeling now? Reproaching myself so much. In life, I never get anything done successfully. Ya, maybe I did. I successfully failed everything. And I believe if I had studied a little and gone for all papers. I would have passed everything. I passed everything in my N-level examination. So, I will strive harder. I will be hard-working. I will!
It had to be you.
Had I not put in any effort, I wouldn't have cried. In other words, I gave in my all, I tried. However, it did not turn out the way I expected. After I had the Chinese mocked paper, I told the teacher that it was an easy paper. If I fail, I can forget about taking my Chinese O. So, when yesterday I got back my paper. I failed. I was actually very calm until teacher said "Soh Wynn, your mark is... 3... (was hoping for a 5 but) 2. The paper was upon 70. My mind went blank. I asked myself "What have I done wrong? Didn't I try? Haven't I put in enough effort? Or am I another stupid boy-next-door?" I couldn't take it yesterday so I cried naturally when I told myself not to. I thought back. I've tried. Shouldn't I be happy about it? At least... at least I've given in my all. Unlike my mid-year examination, when I did not even bother to go school and take my exams. Hence, I knew I was wrong. And I did not care. You guys get my point, don't you? It's ok if you do not.
I dreamt of myself getting top for Chinese. Can understand how I am feeling now? Reproaching myself so much. In life, I never get anything done successfully. Ya, maybe I did. I successfully failed everything. And I believe if I had studied a little and gone for all papers. I would have passed everything. I passed everything in my N-level examination. So, I will strive harder. I will be hard-working. I will!
It had to be you.
